Friday, September 12, 2008

Things I've learned while riding Trax and working for DMBA

Dear Edward,

I worked with a guy who could make anything out of duck tape, he thought it was cool - it was not. He eventually got fired for playing with a knife under his desk. Not. A. Shocker. Maybe his big mistake was not making that out of duck tape... Maybe next time DT.

I've been riding Trax for a year and a half, and have been working for the same company for that same amount of time. So Eddie - do you mind if I call you that? - I decided that if we are going to get married then here are some things you need to know about me...

I've learned...

1- How to roll a joint.
2- What brain fluid and blood looks like when mixed together.
3- What “getting out of the box” means – and how often I’m in one.
4- The many things you can do with duck tape.
5- There are so many levels to crazy.
6- Never use the restroom after 12 pm without a gas mask and full terrorist gear.
7- You can bribe anyone with chocolate.
8- Don’t compete with DT.
9- While making craft projects - Elmer’s glue will not work on pom pom’s and string.
10- Mountain Dew + Excedrin = the Mormon equivalent to crack.
11- You can not deny a claim for a man because he has exceeded the amount of gynecologist appointments for the year. The wife will call in to let us know that her husband is not a woman.
12- You can not pay a claim for a man who has received a pap smear.
13- People do get drunk and ride Trax at 6:30 am.
14- Some people are not ashamed to talk very loudly as to why they are exiting the train at the courthouse.
15- Don’t talk about blood and oatmeal in the same sentence – EVER!

Your future wife,


Steven & Becky Heumann said...

Who knew you could learn so much from Trax. I'm thrilled to see Flight of the Concords on your video files!

Brenda said...
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Brenda said...

What is a trax? A train? A city bus? what? A man?

SingledOut4 said...

Trax is a train here in Salt Lake. I wish it was a man. If it was a man he would be the one being taught a few things. I'm a bad bad girl.

Tommy + Monica said...

LOL! I LOVE this post!!! I totally laughed out loud on almost all of those!! Good times riding trax in the mornings!!! I wish I could still ride it with you...if only my work wasn't so much farther away....!

Chasity Grace said...

thats hilarious!!! hey jay and mark ride the trax so keep your eyes open!