Meeting a good guy is really hard to do - especially when you're in your 30's - and especially when you're me. I don't make wise choices when it comes to men; case in point the man I was married to for a number of years.
I was tired of dating. I decided to stop being set up by friends after I went on a bad date and asked the friend who set us up what she was thinking, her response "I thought you'd have a lot in common sense you're both divorced".
I soon tired of the singles activities once I figured out that most of them were the Mormon equivalent of going to the bar looking for a one night stand. If I wanted one of those I'd probably be at a bar.
I even had tired the online dating thing but stopped when I went on a re
ally good date that had a lot of potential just to find out he really wasn't in his late 30's but in his early 50's. He really didn't have 2 kids - he had 8 - and 3 grandchildren.
I had decided that maybe marriage just wasn't in my future, and after a good cry I had come to terms with it. It was actually liberating realizing that I could do it on my own.
The kids were going to spend the month of July this past summer with their dad, and I thought it would be fun to go out a few times on some dates. I was looking for nothing serious, just a free dinner and nice conversation. Sorry, but it's true.
I wasn't sure how I was going to go about it because I didn't really want to put forth much effort, and some of the other dating websites I had tried in my opinion were full of people that seemed content sitting behind their computer and doing nothing but flirting - very badly - over email.
After a little research I decided to try eHarmony. I liked that it was a little more expensive than other dating websites, because I figured that if others were willing to spend a little more money they were serious about actually dating. I was only going to do it for the month the kids were gone, and if nothing came of it that was ok.
I met a lot of guys over the month some were pretty nice, some were total idiots. The best thing about this new dating attitude was that I wasn't afraid to tell the idiots that I wasn't interested - something I wish I would have done a lot more in my 20's.
Towards the end of the month, July 24th to be exact, I talked to Jake for the first time. He seemed really nice, so we made plans to go to dinner the Wednesday of the next week. We talked on the phone for a couple of hours on July 27th and he was really funny. I liked that he was easy to talk to and I loved that he was witty and could come right back with jokes and clever things to say.
Our first date was July 29th...I liked him and that scared me. For the first 3 months I fought it. Was he genuinely this nice of a guy? I kept waiting for him to turn into a big fat jerk, but it never happened. He really is a good guy - and I thank Heavenly Father several times a day, every day for bringing him into my life.
He is really great with my kids, and that makes me love him even more. I was concerned about how that would work if I ever met someone. 4 kids is a lot to take in, he was a little scared at first - but once the 5 of them met it just all seemed to click. He is exactly what I need and what they need.
He and Heidi get along great and I think they will be good for each other. She is at the age where she really needs a positive male role model in her life and he wants to be that. He is her friend, but he also backs me up on things - and she respects him. She just recently told him that she loves him and that he is "awesome" - and at 13 that is not something she says too often. Ally and Michaela love to sit on the couch with us and cuddle, and they are always asking me when Jake is coming over. Even Jack has come around. He felt very threatened at first and was afraid I wasn't going to love him anymore. He was the boss of kissing and wouldn't let us kiss without his permission... but all is well and Jack has lifted the no kissing ban.
It's now been 5 months and things are going really well. The kids love him, he loves them, I love him and he loves me. Thank you eHarmony.
We celebrate with my family on Christmas eve at my parents house. This was the tree.
Heidi, Hailey and Katie. Please don't ask me what they are doing...
My cute Allyson
Ally and Jake
Me, Michalea and Jake. Yep, his finger is almost up her nose.
Everyone looking on as Jack opens his first present.
The three wise men
Jack and Joey being sheep in Grandma's closet
Elise and Jordan as Mary and Joseph
Ally as an angel.
Ally playing her violin.
Jackson singing Jingle Bells for everyone. Sorry about the red eye...
Me and Jake
Ally and her new sweater
Jake and Michaela
Heidi opening a game of scrabble
Jake and Michaela
Jack and Jordan showing off their transformers
The mess.
Ally and Michaela
Mark and Jack... Jack looks happy to be there doesn't he?
Hailey, Kaitie and Michaela
Elise and Michaela
Ally, Carlie, Michaela and Hallie - or the pretty girls as Jack likes to call them.
Jack and Alex
Micaela and her step-sister Emily (Dad's wife)
Uncle Tim and Michaela right before she goes in the water.
Michaela standing at the door of the Baptismal Font.
Just getting out of the water.
She looks happy... and cold!
Uncle George (Heidi's husband)
Michael and Danelle (dad and step mom)
Grandpa Heumann, my dad
Rick Ward
Aunt Heidi and Joey
Grandma Heumann, my mom
Heather
Aunt Lithia and Gail 
All of the kids....
This was the only picture Heidi would let me take, so I'm posting it!
Me and Ally. I really wish I would have taken my sunglasses off so I didn't end up with this dorky sunburn,
Me and Michaela.
Steven enjoying his s'more
Me and Jack
Heidi getting things ready to toast marshmallow's. Can you tell she didn't want this picture taken?
Becky, George and Heidi.
Joey and Jack hanging out
Heidi and George.
Elise (Steven) she is as cute and sweet as she looks!
Michaela fishing. We didn't catch anything, but it was still a ton of fun. I'm excited to try again next year.
Joey, Heidi's youngest. I love this kid!
Max, Ben, Michaela and Ally
Jack has the most fun playing with the worms... and I really wish I would have combed his hair!
Steven, Heidi, Grandpa and the back of Ally 
ally good date that had a lot of potential just to find out he really wasn't in his late 30's but in his early 50's. He really didn't have 2 kids - he had 8 - and 3 grandchildren.
You guys might have a gun; but I have TWO cats! Now what Suckas??
What's a champion without an umbrella?
Every girl should have a dream "superstar"
Nice leaning post!
It should be noted that cooking is dangerous and should be done with bellies and chest hairs covered. Thanks.
Well, she wouldn't have cried if you hadn't sat her on the lap of a deranged cracked out bunny missing an ear!! 
Sometimes when your happy and you know it, you don't need to clap your hands.
We are lawyers you can trust. Look... we like kitties. 
Some girls would have been devastated that there prom was being held at KFC... these girls embraced it.
Everyone has a guardian angel.
Suzy would have never known there was tension if it hadn't been for the burning sensations coming from both sides of her head.
Wearing the same earrings is where he drew the line. Everyone has their standards. 
No, I don't think he will develop "mother" issues, do you? 
I hope this is her boyfriend and not her cousin.
