Wednesday, February 4, 2009


Dear Zumba class,

If I would have known that this class was a Salsa dancing workout - and it sure did give me a workout - I might have reconsidered attending. This might have been easier for me 15 years and 50 pounds ago... needless to say I felt out of place. My hips haven't moved. period. in the last few years, and they haven't moved like that since the night I got pregnant with my last child. I just couldn't keep up. I'm not a dancer, and proved tonight that I have very little rhythm.

There was so much hoping and jumping around that I had to concentrate really hard not to wet myself. I'm thinking I looked much like the woman in the white tank top and black sweat pants. She has an expression on her face that reads, "Oh crap". That was me the entire time. I couldn't see the instructor very well, because unlike the woman in the the picture, I stood in the back of the room. (this picture was not from my class, I found it on the internet)

I got distracted. I couldn't stop looking a the woman in the pink crochet hat. I understand that the hat matched perfectly with the bright pink shirt she was wearing, that accentuated the boobs her husband just purchased... but come on... the hat needed to go. I kept watching, waiting for it to fall off. I have to hand it to her because it never did. She did however know how to move her very small -no fat on them- hips, and that simple fact got me feeling even more self conscious. She had to be at least 10 years older than me, but had the moves of someone 20 years younger.

There was the girl next to the pink hat lady. I could tell she was a dancer and I watched her for a long time. She was good, and she thought so too. She was mesmerized by her reflection in the mirror. At one point I thought that maybe we all should leave so she could have some time alone with herself.

There were the 2 Middle Eastern women. They were wearing their headdresses and I couldn't figure out how they kept it on so tight. They were getting so into the music that one of them accidentally kicked the lady standing next to me, but the headdress didn't budge. Impressive.

And then there was the girl with the butt sweat. For the rest of the class I was worried that I too had butt sweat, and that everyone could see it. I was thinking about this so much, that at one point I forgot to turn around when everyone else did, and then all of a sudden everyone was facing me. So I waved.

Thank you Zumba for the most entertaining hour I've had in a long time. I don't think I'll be coming back, but it was $5.00 well spent.

Yours truly,


thefoxkids said...

sounds like the people watching alone was worth the price.. and it was cheeper than a movie!!!

katie said...

Laurie, you seriously are the funniest person I know. You need to start writing your own column. I was so excited to find your blog. It's fun to keep up on people you grew up with. Sorry I've been stalking you for a little while now. Just reading your blog makes me laugh. Your the best Laurie, keep writing. By the way it's Katie (pratt)

Fox Family said...

That was hilarious! I'm glad you had an entertaining evening. :-)