Monday, September 15, 2008

The Right One

Dear Edward,

This morning I was sitting at my desk eating burnt popcorn – I kind of like it that way – when I get this email.

“ Hi Laurie,
We just wanted to let you know that we received your profile and thank you for your interest in our service. We look forward to talking to you and learning more about your relationship goals. One of our relationship experts will be calling you shortly to ask you a couple of quick questions and find out which of our services will fit you best.
If you would like to contact us directly, feel free to call our local office at . We look forward to hearing from you!

Thank You
The TheRightOne Staff”

WTHECK? I found this dating website advertisement on facebook this weekend. They always have these advertisements off to the side. Sometimes it is about how just drinking green tea can change your life, just ask Oprah… but mostly it advertising dating websites. I never knew there were so many. I’ve done ldssingles, ldsmingles, ldsplanet, eHarmony, singlesnet…. to name a few. I’ve never had a good experience with the online thing- in fact they’ve all been worse than bad. One guy did drugs on the date, one guy left me in the parking lot of the mall because he was running late, and then suggested if I was hungry to go ahead and grab something at the food court and he would find me there – he wasn’t hungry because he ate an hour earlier. And the other’s just wanted to talk about their ex-wives… or sex. No thank you.

These dating websites all advertise the same thing – but none of them deliver.

I had a weak moment and clicked on the advertisement. This one promised 30+ singles and all of them were there to meet someone and get married. I fell for it. I answered all of the questions, dotted all of my “i’s” crossed all of my “t’s”, and at the end of it all they told me that someone would be contacting me. That was strange, but I didn’t think anything of it. Now I understand that I was filling out a “pre interview” to see if I’m good enough for a real interview.

NO THANK YOU! I’ll sit this one out. You know it is probably going to be some judgmental married lady - who's qualifications consists of watching daytime TV for the past 30 years - calling me asking me questions that I don’t even feel comfortable telling my gynecologist. I don’t know this person but because she is part of “TheRightOne” staff I can trust her. Ya right. The crazy ones are the ones who can answer the questions the way that they need to so they can punk the married twit into giving them the OK to let them in the club.

This feels like the time in 6th grade that nobody wanted me on their baseball team...

I think I will be the one to determine who is “TheRightOne” for me. Not some unqualified website that has to advertise on face book.

Until then, it’s just me and you Eddie.


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